Oh terrible um
that comes and stands in my door
and lingers there in the air like a stink
like a stain on the counter by the sink that I scrub
and scratch at with my nails and fingers
“um…”
the floor is yours, you’ve staked your claim
with an abhorrent burp from the bowels of your brain
oh please, please, I plead in the ellipses
in the pain of the pause, oh
terrible um
like a naughty man who drops his pants and with his cock
he waters the plants, rudely I thought but
he cares not what I think
and he wants to be caught
he steals my breath with mutters and hums
there is no peace after the “um” there is waiting
like the moment after you knock a cup over just before it shatters
when it’s rolling and the glass is intact still but on an intractable path to the ground
to the floor and nothing else matters, it rolls
unstoppably at just the wrong speed, just the wrong way down
you freeze in a moment of impossible need
for this to be not this
oh terrible um
“if I may interrupt, if I may be so bold, I badly need
an indefinite hold on all intention and thought, and
an immediate spotlight on me, for I’ve got
nothing to say, nothing at all, and
upon this I must urgently call your attention!”
oh terrible, terrible um!

Today an ant drowned in a drop of water

he made it all the way to the edge but
couldn’t bust through

like God, I found myself rooting for him to escape
also like God, I was waiting with a hose in case he did